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freshmeat CDROM Subscription Service

During the boom years, broadband Internet access was a fact of many freshmeat users' lives. In the new millennium, many have found that their return to the basement of the parental home has coincided with a reintroduction to an old friend, the 56k modem. Others in developing countries like Nigeria and Idaho wish they had access to even that much bandwidth. Today, we're happy to announce that we will soon be providing a service which many of you have requested.

freshmeat is a large and complex site, and, every day, people need our help. Our user support inbox is filled with interesting and often urgent questions and comments like these[1]:

hello I am doing an art project for school what I have selected is to build a grandfatherclock; I have the tools and I can get the wood but i need plans to build one do you have any?

where do u get your hanson songs from because as far as i know stick boy is by suddan death. and other songs are from other varios artists alot of them are by hanson ansd alot of them arn't so please put some real hanson songs on their. thankyou victoria hanson's #1 fan.

Hi, my name is Bertha. I am a 40 year old Austrian who likes romantic evenings and sitting at a warm fire as you shave off my back and chest and cover me in chocolate and whipped cream. I have not seen a man in twenty years, so I have a lot of love to give. If you'd like to meet, please contact me. I'll be waiting....

The corect location to go too. An find a living condition in a functional location (squat) in Amsterndam is my current delima. Can you send me the imformation on who too talk to, or see, too get into a place and out of the hotels and motels?

Would you mind adding me to your hosts file please please please.

I am owed a lot of money from the government and I will soon have a lot of money to burn on PR. I'll pay you $1.4 million to post the site when i have publicity from you when I have more funding from the government. People and freshmeat should not be part of a cover-up.

Is this the Evan Martin who graduated from Sycamore High School?

i have a little library on msn and bill gates will sell for proper amount of money only if someone feels they could use it. he has spies all over the place and is ruthless.sometimes they even tamper with my email. so it would be better to phone me

My name is Miljan, I'm from Banja Luka-Bosnia and Herzegovina. I'm Christian, I'm Serbian. I'm very nice. I want married.

SEEKING EMPLOYMENT AT PLANT IN ST.LOUIS ON MARTINLUTHERKING NOT ABLE TO GET IN CONTACT WITH BY WAY OF EMPLOYMENT OFFICE.PLEASE HELP.THANK YOU

I have some pictueres of  a UFO  taken in Puerto  Rico in 1978 .

Please help! I just left my husband and he shut down my business account, changed my password and I started a new account. But I cant retieve my mail from previous account! I am a model and all my leads come through that name. Please,please help, please?if i could just get that account- i dont want his or anything... please....

One question which comes up from time to time is: Why don't we sell freshmeat CDROMs? People suggest that we could fill them with the most popular projects or let users create custom CDs of their favorites. We've parried this request with a number of creative excuses. The most impressive-sounding is that operating system distributions already package the most commonly-used software, and those items which people need and can't find on their distribution CDs are sufficiently small in number and unique to the individual that it's easier for them to just download them. The most honest is that we're simply lazy.[2]

Still, people keep asking. They say that they're in a part of the world in which they pay for Internet access by the hour, or that it's frustrating to find the software they want, then discover that the site hosting it is down.

Well, we've heard your cries, and we're enthusiastically delighted to say that we've just hired Bob, our latest employee, and that he's going to be devoting his full time and energies to making this dream come true.

It will not, at least for the first year, be as configurable as some of you had hoped. You will not be able to select the projects which you wish to have included in your mailing. However, we're sure you'll come to see this as a benefit, as every project listed on freshmeat will be on the disks. It will all be right there, at your fingertips. We will unfortunately not be able to include a directory listing what's on which disc, but by popping disks in and out, you will eventually find anything you need.

In our test pressings, Bob has demonstrated tremendous commitment and diligence in the pursuit of completeness, and we feel confident in promising that these mailings will include all branches of all projects from all sections, including themes, OS X software, etc. The most current release in each branch will be available in both source code and any binaries available from the originating site. For example, the Debian project will be included in Stable, Unstable, Testing, and Frozen varieties for Alpha, ARM, HP PA-RISC, Intel x86, Intel IA-64, Motorola 680x0, MIPS, MIPS (DEC), PowerPC, IBM S/390, and SPARC.

This may, at first, seem slightly excessive when extended to all 27,761 projects, but the first time you experience the joy of discovering that disk 137 has just what you want, we know you'll recognize the inestimable value of this policy.

Since so much of the software listed here is updated so frequently, this will be a weekly service. You will be billed four times a year for the 13 mailings in the coming quarter. Mailings should arrive by Saturday so they will be ready for your use in the coming week. If you would prefer to receive your mailings on floppy disks, please let us know when you subscribe.

If you're as excited about this bold next step as we are, just include your full name, address, telephone numbers, next of kin, and credit card information in a comment beneath this article, and we'll add you to the list of people to be notified when this service goes live a few weeks from now. Happy CD Surfing!

Footnotes

  1. All genuine. I swear I am not making this up.
  2. Especially Daniel. I can get away with saying this because he won't bother to read the footnotes.[3]
  3. Oh, damn; he did. Ok, I didn't really mean it.[4]
  4. Actually, I did. I know he won't read all the footnotes.

RSS Recent comments

01 Apr 2003 12:21 altgrendel

I just hate April 1st.
Nuff' said.

01 Apr 2003 12:31 aarfb

hmmm...
All your CDs are belong to us

01 Apr 2003 13:01 chagmuel

Alternate Media?
CD-ROM Broken... Will you also provide floppy disks? 5-1/4 only please. thx.

01 Apr 2003 13:10 tsarkon

Confusing but fun
What is there to say? I have been browsing several online news magazines and it has been fun to read all these hoax stories. I even stumbled upon a whole website dedicated to hoaxes. The top100 section is the funniest to look at: www.museumofhoaxes.com... -- maybe it's just me, but I like this kind of strange humour. I enjoy it, because I rarely fall for the tricks these days ;)

01 Apr 2003 13:11 algernon

Binaries for PDP-11?
Hey! Will you have binaries for PDP-11, shipped on punch card?

I would be interested in feeding many a kilometer of those into this little house I inherited from the university.

01 Apr 2003 13:14 chagmuel

Re: Binaries for PDP-11?
I find puched tape soooo much more reliable!

01 Apr 2003 14:40 Avatar Hemo

Re: Alternate Media?

> CD-ROM Broken... Will you also provide
> floppy disks? 5-1/4 only please. thx.


yeah.. make mine 360k single-sided ....

01 Apr 2003 15:18 nortcele

Woo-Hoo!
I'm just glad that Idaho got mentioned... and yes... I do have a 56k modem. (But it only connects at 28.8).

01 Apr 2003 15:24 afreeman

For compatibility reasons ...
I need this data on 8 inch floppies compatible with the old Shugart 8-inch drives. What would be the charge?

The computer in question is somewhat outdated, but is kept disconnected from all external sources for security reasons.

1-inch tape would also be acceptable.

01 Apr 2003 16:42 lysian

I'm wondering.....
Yes, very funny. So, um, can I have Miljan's email?

01 Apr 2003 16:54 psyhofreak

Re: For compatibility reasons ...

> I need this data on 8 inch floppies
> compatible with the old Shugart 8-inch
> drives. What would be the charge?
>
> The computer in question is somewhat
> outdated, but is kept disconnected from
> all external sources for security
> reasons.
>
> 1-inch tape would also be acceptable.

I need 8 inch floppy also, but hard-sector. Everyone knows that soft-sector floppies are unreliable.

01 Apr 2003 18:13 Dexter_Haslem

Re: I just hate April 1st.

> Nuff' said.

Sometimes...I agree. Its because my CD-ROM is broken, too. :)

01 Apr 2003 19:21 linde

Cassette Tape for me.
My 8" floppy is lost in the garage. Can I get mine in Phimon format on cassette tape?

02 Apr 2003 00:07 _natan_

yep !
Can't you send me the phone # of that Australian woman ? please, please... :)

02 Apr 2003 01:39 IvoLimmen

Must be April 1st
... because everybody ships DVD's nowadays :)

03 Apr 2003 04:54 Avatar liedra

Re: yep !

> Can't you send me the phone # of that
> Australian woman ? please, please... :)

I think you mean "Austrian" ;-)

- liedra

05 Apr 2003 15:55 brouhaha

Re: Binaries for PDP-11?

> Hey! Will you have binaries for PDP-11,
> shipped on punch card?

Punched cards? Any true PDP-11 hacker knows that software comes on DECtape!

07 Apr 2003 13:37 olivierkaloudoff

this is great news
Hi,

this is really a great news, such a CD will
make it much easier for free software to spread
around the world,

and I hope this will give one of the best
MacOS opensource compilation of the web.

Olivier

25 Apr 2003 23:48 forc

Re: hmmm...

> All your CDs are belong to us

Date 1 April 2003, still the idea is not bad, a monthly freshmeat CD-Rom or DVD distributed for 10$. The profit would go directly to the linux community. I bet bandwidth for a project like this is pretty expensive.

09 Aug 2003 06:25 xnyx

Yikes!
Bill Gates wants my brain!

13 Sep 2003 07:52 AskMe

That will be great Idea and promote Open Source Code
It will be very good idea to put in CDs, it can also be put in more arranged form (topic wise) and ISO image on website so that people can download and burn or can request from freshmeat itself.

It will be great promotion for Open Source.

19 Sep 2003 22:12 millette

Nattor the Little CD Vendor

Hi,

I just started a website this week:

www.waglo.com/nattor/ (www.waglo.com/nattor/)

It's the place to get a lot of gnu/linux distributions, other, seperate open source / free software, and other miscellaneous stuff: human genome, earth height maps, etexts, etc.

For now, Nattor only ships to Canada, since it's based in Montreal, Quebec.

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